The Power of Encouragement

This is not about receiving approval from the crowd, but finding those who do not hesitate to tell you when you’ve done well and will also point out how you can become better at what you do. They are those who believe you can be more than what you are today and are willing to keep pushing you in that direction

Giving Encouragement

I admire people who are especially good at this, but it is not a quality that should be limited to a select few. It is something we must all practice. Encouragement does not always come as some fluffy statement like ‘Oh you’re so amazing’. It might come in a more stern form like ‘You need to get up and do this because you have the potential to do better than you’re doing now’. Instead of these, though, the most common response is indifference.

“It’s unbelievable how little genuine encouragement many people need and how they’ve had none.”

— Jordan Peterson

Has there been a time when someone you know suddenly started gaining recognition for their work and you said nothing? Or was there a time when someone you knew as skilled or creative started becoming mediocre or even gave up and you ignored it? I have been in both situations and often regretted it. Speaking up at that moment might have made a difference.

You might think the person who is succeeding already knows they are great and does not need to hear it again, but I have found from experience that a lot of people, especially highly conscientious people rarely think much of themselves even after great achievements.

I don’t know about you, but after some internal reflection, I found that the key factor stopping me was jealousy. This jealousy stemmed from the fact that I wasn’t working on a lot of my goals and ‘chasing my dreams’. So when I saw someone living that life, it made me feel incompetent. I had to learn to let people know what I think about them, irrespective of how their success made me feel.

So each time I see someone succeed now, I ask myself what I can learn from their success and tell them exactly what I have learned by observing them. This is useful in various ways:

1. It comes off as more genuine since it is backed by a real story of impact.

2. It forces me to reflect on myself regularly, which leads to more rapid growth.

Moreover, when you give genuine encouragement, people reciprocate by telling you what they think of you as well. They say things you would otherwise never have heard.

Whatever your reason for withholding encouragement, I hope this post has helped you understand its importance and how far it can go in helping someone keep moving. Also, if you were previously reluctant to receive encouragement from others, lighten up! You need me, and I need you.

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Sometime in 2020, I began to feel a sense of apathy towards music, writing, and most of my creative forms of expression. Due to a combination of factors, I began to doubt myself, questioning everything I had been doing for the last four years and wondering what I should have done differently. The more I thought, the further I went down the spiral of my thoughts, leaving me in a sort of abyss that I felt I couldn't get out of. It was at that time that I came to understand what a blessing it is to have someone encourage you and to be able to encourage others.

Receiving Encouragement

Have you listened to speakers who claim that you do not need anyone to motivate you in order to get things done? That you should be your own source of motivation? I’m sure you have. They’re not wrong per se, but I think that while your decision-making should not entirely be determined by the reactions of others, it is a powerful thing to have someone say, “you’re doing great”.

My mom grew up having to fend for herself at a young age, and this made her independent and self-reliant. As a result, her philosophy for a long time was that you do not need anyone but God. This, combined with our relatively indoor lifestyle, shaped my thinking, and as I grew up, I believed that I could do most things myself.

Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t arrogant; I tried to seek out advice now and then, and liked the idea of having mentors. But when I felt tired or overwhelmed, and people tried to empathize with me, I would internally push it away, telling myself that I didn't need any emotional comfort because it would make me weak. I thought I just needed to restructure my schedule and it would all be fine.

When I reached a breaking point in 2020, I was blessed to have a friend who began to frequently let me know what a good job he thought I had been doing, pointing out how knowing me and what I do had helped him and encouraging me to keep creating. There were others who came along, but this was the turning point.

I began singing and writing songs again, and in 2021, I gathered enough courage to have my first live EP recording. I realized that no matter how hard we try on our own, there are times when we need each other. We need to hear someone say, ‘I’m rooting for you’, ‘I’ve got your back’.

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